Raised For Him Page 12

I’d masturbated after Angel had left me, my hand shoved between my thighs, my head twisting on the pillow, the taste of his cum still coating my tongue. I had never expected to enjoy the things I had to do to him. I thought I’d get through them, but instead my body reacted viscerally to being around him. My nipples tightened, my pussy got wet. Every inch of my skin seemed to grow more sensitive, and I would have sworn even my lips grew plumper at his proximity.

  Would it be like that with Torres, too? A strange mixture of feelings swirled around my stomach at the idea. I’d caught glimpses of Torres at the master’s events, and he’d seemed handsome enough, though obviously he was far too old back then. But I was an adult now, and that helped to lessen the age difference. I knew I was doing this all for him, but a part of me felt as though I was betraying Angel by even thinking of Torres. In fact, was it not the other way around? I’d belonged to Torres for many years now, so wasn’t I betraying Torres with Angel, even though Torres and I had never even properly met?

  I got up and went to the main house to eat breakfast with the other women. It felt strange not to be one of the workers helping to serve food and clear the plates away again. Instead, I took a seat shyly at the table and did my best to ignore the knowing glances of the women around me. I was one of them now—no longer an innocent girl.

  Yolanda reached across the table and covered my hand with her larger one, giving me a squeeze. “You okay, Catalina?”

  People seemed to be asking me that a lot lately.

  I met her gaze and nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. Just finding this all a bit strange.”

  She gave me a wide smile, and immediately I felt more relaxed. “I bet you are. You’ve got some big changes coming up, Catalina. It’s understandable that things are going be unsettling.”

  I tried to put on a brave face. “And things are only going to get even more different. I’ll be okay, though. I’m tougher than I look.”

  She pulled an awkward face. “What about your heart, though, Catalina? How tough is your heart?”

  I took a sip of tea. “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve watched you and Angelo grow up together. I saw how you used to follow him around, doting on his every word, your little face lighting up if he so much as glanced in your direction. You might be all grown up now, but you still have that same expression when he is around—and why not? He has grown into a very handsome young man. But I’m worried that what the two of you are doing is going to end up being dangerous for both of you.”

  I stared down into my tea. “His father ordered him to train me. He didn’t have any choice, and neither do I.”

  “His father doesn’t understand how the heart works.” She gave me a conspiratorial smile and lowered her voice. “I’m not sure he actually has one.”

  I let out a laugh then bit my lower lip to hold it in.

  She patted the back of my hand, signaling the conversation was over. “I just don’t want either of you getting hurt. That’s all.”

  I nodded and focused back down on my toast. Why would Angelo get hurt? He was the master’s son and had an incredible future ahead of him. The only reason he was doing this was because his father had asked him, and the master wasn’t someone you said no to, even when you were related to him. Angel had already said emotions needed to be left outside the room when we were together, that there was no past or future, just the physical thing that had to be done. But that was done for my protection, not Angel’s.

  I finished my breakfast, surprised to find myself eager to get back to the room and wait for Angel. I was looking forward to what he might have in store for me that day, and I hoped he wouldn’t be long. With my days left in the compound quickly running out, it felt like any moment not spent in his presence was a moment wasted.

  I rose from the table and left the room, the whispers of the other women chasing me as I left. I knew they were all talking about me, but I tried not to let myself care. I had bigger things to worry about than a little gossip. Besides, I hoped the only reason they were talking about me was because they cared. I didn’t think they were saying anything bad... Well, as long as Bianca wasn’t involved in the conversation.

  Angel was already waiting for me when I reached the room, and I gave him a shy smile. He was clearly as eager to get started as I was.

  “Good morning, Catalina.”

  I kept my gaze down. “Good morning, sir.”

  “You did well yesterday.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’ve been thinking about what happened on that first day—not the spanking, but how you undressed, and it pleased me. I punished you for it, but you were right about that. It did turn me on, and how you act and the things you do will turn Torres on as well.” He swallowed hard and paused. “And Torres will want to do things to you, too, Catalina. He’ll want to do them not only because he thinks it’ll give you pleasure, but also because he’ll enjoy doing it.”

  I wondered where he was heading with all of this. “Okay.”

  “So, today we’re going to prepare you for what to expect.”

  I twisted my lips, frowning. “I thought this wasn’t supposed to be about my pleasure.”

  “No, it isn’t, but I want you to know how men will expect you to react while they’re doing this to you.”

  I squirmed, unsure whether to be nervous or excited.

  “For example,” he continued, “men will want to lick you down there. Even if they’re doing a bad job of it, make a lot of noise. Act enthusiastic. We’re simple creatures, and we like to feel like our work is being appreciated.”

  “Noises? Like this?”

  I imitated some of the sounds I’d heard from the rooms of the other women over the years.

  He gulped, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Yeah, just like that.”

  Seemed easy enough. “I can do that.”

  “Torres will obviously want to penetrate you as well.”

  “You mean, when he wants to take my virginity?”

  “Yes, he’ll want to penetrate you that way, though I’m unable to help you with that part, but he’ll most likely want to penetrate you in other ways, too.

  I was confused. “He will?”

  “Yes, Catalina, he will, and so will whichever other men come after him.”

  He must have seen the confusion on my face.

  He cleared his throat and tried again, more direct this time. “Men will want to fuck you in the ass.”

  I pulled a face. “I’ve heard the other women talking about that.”

  “I bet you’ve never even been penetrated back there before?”

  I shook my head. “I’ve never been penetrated anywhere before.” My cheeks heated. “Apart from my mouth, but I don’t know if that counts.” I remembered the salty rush of Angel’s semen flooding over my tongue, how it had left a slightly dry taste in the back of my throat afterward. It was silly, but at least now I felt like I had a tiny part of him inside me.

  “Okay. I don’t want you to get a shock. It’s better that you at least know what it feels like.”

  My heart lurched. “You’re going to put your cock in my ass?”

  He at least had the decency to look awkward. “No, Catalina. Let’s just start with a finger or two, okay?”

  “Okay,” I squeaked, but I wasn’t sure about any of this. I knew it happened, but the idea of Angel probing around back there felt kind of wrong. But he was right—it was going to happen, whether I liked it or not.

  “I’ll make it feel good for you,” he said. “I promise.”

  I still wasn’t sure, but I had to go along with it.

  “Lie face down on the bed and pull up your dress.”

  I did as he instructed. I was glad to be able to press my face into the mattress, so at least he wouldn’t be able to witness my mortification. He tugged at my panties, and I lifted my hips slightly, allowing him to pull them off and toss them to one side. Oh, God, I was practically naked now.

  He reached into the drawer and pulled out a bottle
of something. “This is lube,” he told me. “It’s very important to use it when trying anything like this, okay? It’ll stop it from hurting.”

  My heart raced. “Is it going to hurt?”

  “Maybe a little, but it’ll feel good, too.”

  “Like the spanking?”

  I heard the smile in his voice. “Yes, like the spanking. Now, part your legs.”

  Cold gel hit the valley between my buttocks and dribbled onto my ass.

  His other hand pushed under my pelvic bone. What was he doing? Then his fingers found my clit, and sparks exploded inside me, my hips jerking from the bed.

  “It’s okay, relax. This will help make things feel good.”

  I was already feeling good. Jesus, having his hand on me right there felt incredible. My arousal had gone from zero to one hundred in less than a second. For a moment, I forgot about what was going to happen next and just squirmed down onto his hand, lost in the sensation of him strumming me.

  Then his finger touched my asshole, and I jerked again, for a whole different reason.

  “Relax. This will be good.”

  I sucked in a breath and tried my hardest to relax. I tried to focus on the hand beneath me, rather than the hand now working on my ass. His finger trailed around my rim, spreading the cool, wet lube. There was a small amount of pressure, and he pushed his finger inside my ass.

  “Oh, God.” I clenched the bedsheets either side of my head. I didn’t know how this felt. Slightly painful, but mind-spinningly good. I’d never had the sensation of having someone else inside my body before. He slid his finger in and out of my ass, and I whimpered, not knowing how to react. My arousal was clenched at my core, but it also felt wrong and dirty. I was pleased he was teaching me, though. I couldn’t imagine doing this for the first time with someone I didn’t even know.

  “You have a beautiful ass, Catalina,” Angel murmured. “I can see why men are going to want to fuck it one day.”

  I thought of Angel being the one to take me that way, of him climbing onto the bed behind me and pushing his cock inside me. I wanted him to, I realized.

  “Are you...” I started, before taking another gasp of breath. “Could you...?”

  He knew what I was asking him. “No, I can’t risk it. I don’t know what damage I might do. I don’t want to leave any sign on your body that someone has been here before.”

  I nodded into the sheets.

  “Fuck, I want to, though, Catalina.” His voice was ragged. “I’d give anything to be inside you.”

  “Me, too.”

  He kept working me with his fingers, and I squirmed and panted as he built me higher and higher.

  “I’m going to use two fingers now, okay?”

  My hands dug tighter into the sheets, but I nodded. I’d have done anything for him at that point. He owned every single inch of my skin, the blood singing through my veins, the beating of my heart.

  He pulled his finger from my ass, and then more cold gel hit my skin. When he touched me again, it was with two fingers, and my hole burned as he worked his way inside. How could something so dirty feel so right?

  “Oh, God,” I groaned into the sheets. He was moving faster now, and I ground into the hand that was cupping my pussy and then pushed back on his fingers in my ass. I was panting hard, every muscle in my body taut.

  My orgasm broke over me, and my internal muscles pulsed around his fingers. I cried out, my body bucking, my eyes squeezed shut. My toes curled against the sheets, my body shaking and shuddering with the force of my climax.

  God, if it was this good just with his fingers, I couldn’t even imagine how it would be with his cock. It broke my heart that I was never going to find out.

  I lay on the bed, wrung out, trying to catch my breath. Angel slipped his fingers from my body.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I managed to nod. Then I turned my face toward him. It was no surprise that his erection was visible beneath his pants.

  I reached for him. “Is it your turn now?”

  But to my disappointment, he shook his head. “No, Catalina. This isn’t about getting me off. This is about teaching you what to expect, remember?”

  He was teaching me, just as he’d taught me all those things long ago—how to click my fingers, and jump rope, and do a cartwheel. But that didn’t stop me wanting to touch him. I wanted to give him the same kind of satisfaction he’d just given me. But our relationship in this room wasn’t about give and take. It wasn’t about making either of us happy and satisfied.

  It was all about another man being pleased with me when the time came.

  Chapter Twenty

  Twelve Years Earlier

  I LET OUT A HUFF OF frustration and threw my pen down onto the desk.

  “Don’t give up,” my tutor, Mr. Nicholas, said. “You’ll get it eventually.”

  “No, I won’t. I hate algebra. It’s like trying to read a foreign language.”

  “Well, you’re going to need it when you go away to school next year. You don’t want to be behind all the other boys in your studies.”

  I heaved out another sigh and reluctantly picked up my pen again. I would never have admitted it to anyone, but I was nervous about leaving the compound and staying away during term time. I knew my life was different from most other kids my age, and I was worried the other boys would see that about me right away and I’d end up with a mark on my back. I wished I could be more like my father. No one would ever dare pick on him, and if they did, he’d make them wish they hadn’t. He was working to instill the same hardness in me, and I was trying, but the unknown was a scary place.

  I tried to focus on my studies again, but my mind had given up. I wasn’t even processing the numbers and letters anymore.

  “Okay,” Mr. Nicholas said, clearly sensing my frustration. “Let’s move on to English and come back to this later when you’ve got a clear head, okay?”

  I nodded, relieved to have been let off the hook, for the moment, anyway. I preferred English over all the other subjects. English didn’t make my brain hurt when I tried to learn it. If anything, I enjoyed reading the stories. They transported me to different worlds than the very small one I inhabited. I was happy to spend time with Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer as they traveled along the Mississippi River, or the poor tenant farmers’ journey in The Grapes of Wrath. They didn’t feel like work to me, and I was often left with my head filled with different people and times, and whose stories I was eager to get back to.

  Movement came at the door, and I glanced up from my books. A little head of dark hair and wide blue eyes peeped around the corner.

  “Well,” Mr. Nicholas said in amusement. “Who is this, then?”

  “What are you doing?” Catalina asked in her little voice, ignoring the tutor’s question.

  “Studying,” I told her.

  She stepped fully into the room, all her focus on me, not even glancing at the adult standing to one side. “What’s studying?”

  “Learning.” I gestured at the books. “Reading and stuff.”

  Her small features twisted. “I don’t know how to read. Not properly. Yolanda taught me how to write my name, and some ABCs, but that’s all.”

  She plonked herself down into a seat at the desk. “Can I learn with you?”

  “I think the work of Harper Lee and Edgar Allan Poe may be a little advanced for you.”

  “Who is Lee and Edgar?” she asked, her eyes bright.

  “They’re the authors of some of the books I’m studying.”

  “Do you think I’d like them?”

  I wrinkled my nose. “I think they might be a bit grown up for you.”

  Her lower lip dropped. “Oh, okay.”

  I hated to see her disappointed. “But, look, I can try to teach you some other books. Maybe Mr. Nicholas can bring by some ones that would be more suitable for you next time, and then I can help you learn.”

  I glanced over to my tutor, who gave a shrug and then nodded to say t
hat would be okay.

  I realized this little girl wasn’t going to get an education unless someone actually stepped up and tried to give it to her. I’d talk to my father and see if there was anything he could do. I was sure he wouldn’t want her to grow up illiterate and uneducated. I knew the lives of the women here didn’t exactly mean they’d need to use their brains, but even the men who came here would prefer a woman they could have a conversation with. No one wanted a simpleton. Anyway, Catalina wasn’t simple, far from it. Even at this age, I could tell she was smart.

  When I’d finished with my lessons, I went to my father’s office to speak with him. For once, he wasn’t in the middle of something, and he gestured for me to sit in the chair opposite.

  “I think Catalina will need schooling soon,” I announced.

  He put down his pen and folded his arms. “Why do you think that?”

  “She’s getting older—she must be six years old now—and she wants to learn. Won’t she be worth more to you if she’s educated?”

  He tapped his fingers to his lips. “Hmm. As long as she doesn’t get any ideas above her station.”

  “I can teach her initially, and then when I leave for school, Mr. Nicholas can still come here, but can teach Catalina instead of me.” I was warming to my subject, happy that he hadn’t just kicked me straight out of the room.

  My father exhaled a sigh. “I was wondering what to do with the old coot. I guess this means he’ll still have a job for the next few years, at least.”

  Warmth blossomed in my chest and I jumped from my seat. “Can I go and tell Catalina?”

  He seemed bemused by my excitement, but gave me a dismissive wave. “Go on, then.”

  I went to find her. I discovered her out in the yard, stirring what appeared to be mud and leaves into a bucket filled with water.

  “Hey, what are you doing?” I called out to her.

  She grinned up from where she was squatted next to the bucket and waved the stick she was holding at me. “I’m making a potion.”

  “Yeah, that’s cool. What kind of potion?”

  “It’s a magic one that’s going to give me wings. I’m going to be like the birds and fly over the walls and out into the forest.”